Several times a week I receive an email that says something like the following (excerpted from one I received yesterday):

Could you please let me know your target market that you are focusing to reach.

I could help you reach this market through our 11+ million business contacts database which was released this Jan 2011.The list comes with information such as: Company Name, Website, Executive Contact Name, Title, Verified opt-in Email address, Mailing Address, Telephone Number, Fax number, Industry, Sic Code, Revenue, Number of employees etc. You can use this list for online lead generation, telemarketing, newsletter promotions, etc.

The list I really want is a list of list marketers so I can send them all a targeted message to remove me from their list marketing their lists.

Takeaway to marketers: Email to third-party lists like these is repeatedly shown to be among the absolute worst-performing online marketing tactics. Just saying.

Mark Evanier’s News From Me recently presented an item about the reissue of I’m Dickens, He’s Fenster on DVD. The teevee series was a bit before my time, but I was always aware of it (even though I’ve never seen it), and the cast and creative talent involved in the show was impressive. You can learn more and order the DVD over on this web page.

When you go there to check it out, look at what they’ve done to entice fans of the show specifically and teevee fans generally to order: As a member of the “Architects Circle” those who buy the DVD get access to a special website and a postcard autographed by one of the stars. Pretty good. The first is a technique that’s been used by book publishers for many years, while the second is a pretty classic “bonus with order” type of offer.

But here’s the cool part: Members of the “Architects Circle” get their name in the Volume 2 credits for ordering volume 1, sort of like having one’s name on a brick in the sidewalk outside the local charity for having donated money to that charity. It’s a really smart idea that I’ve never seen in DVD marketing, and it pretty much guarantees that whoever buys the volume 1 limited edition will also buy volume 2.

Takeaway for marketers: Like Steve Jobs told us all: Think different. Here’s a great example.

Ready? Here goes, in no particular order:

Every element of their work will be pored over by multiple layers of bureaucracy.

Mediocre is good enough.

Trial and error is condemned.

Your company is structured so it takes a lifetime to get to the top, and as such there are no digital experts in company-wide leadership positions.

Your offices are cold, impersonal and downright stodgy.

Aaron Shapiro over on Fast Company created that list (which might also be titled, “5 Reasons Why I Work For Myself”) and has a lot more to say about those reasons in his spot-on blog post.

Takeaway for marketers: Ask yourself: do any of those reasons sound familiar? If the answer is “yes,” what are you doing to effect change?

I’ve been blogging once a day, every day without missing a day since mid-2005. Sometimes I get off on a rant, lots of times I’m just linking to something I think you’ll like, but I’ve never repeated a post … till now. I first posted this back in December 2008 and, unfortunately, it still holds true today, albeit with a few minor edits to remove the New Year’s Eve references. Hang in there and stay positive, gang.

The economy sucks. Duh. Maybe you’ve lost a client. Or three. Or your enthusiasm for your job. Or your job. It’s not easy out there.

Here’s the good news: It’s never been easy. What’s good about that? Well, simply that the hard work we all have ahead of ourselves has always been hard, so nothing’s really changed all that much … at least not in the sense that there’s hard work ahead.

It’s more an issue of reminding ourselves (and each other) of some evergreen truths that will help us all get through the financial and personal whitewater that lies ahead.

Here are some things I intend to keep in mind:

1. Stay positive. This is crucial. Everything else flows from a positive attitude. Just as a huge part of the economy’s health is derived from consumer confidence, a huge part of your own mental and professional health is derived from your personal confidence. No one wants to work with anyone who has a negative outlook on things. (Do you?)

2. Remember the golden rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you don’t want to be treated like crap, don’t treat others like crap. You’d think that’s a no-brainer, but don’t we all know people in business who treat others like crap?

3. Minimize your intake of bad news. We’re in for a long haul of stories about this company laying off 10% of their workforce and that company closing their doors and this other company filing for chapter 11. Okay, you already know the economy sucks. What are you gonna do about it, wallow in the details? Or are you going to wake up, stay positive and do what you need to do?

4. Another Great Depression? So? Not every industry tanked during the ’30s. The radio industry did very well. So did print media. Films. Advertising. Take a look at this entry over on Google Answers or this article over on iMedia Connection or this blog post from Ravit Lichtenberg and you’ll see why numbers one and three above, in particular, are so important.

5. Stay busy. The more down time you have, the more opportunity you have to sink into a negative frame of mind that will erode your positive frame of mind. To that end …

6. Network. In real estate it’s “location, location, location.” In business it’s “network, network, network.” Put aside an hour a day to catch up with former coworkers, start actual discussions on LinkedIn (they desperately need some), rekindle friendships from years ago, respond to job ads, talk with recruiters and so on. Or, if not an hour, decide to do three things each day that fall into the networking category. It requires discipline, like going to the gym; you may not see immediate results, but you’ll be a lot healthier for it over the long haul.

7. Remember Sturgeon’s Law. The second portion of Sturgeon’s Law, actually, which states that 90 percent of everything is crap. Everything. That includes 90 percent of everyone out there going after the same job or client as you, 90 percent of your competitors in any given industry and so on down the line. Are you in that 90 percent, or are you a 10-percenter?

8. Remember Col. Sanders. You can read his story over here, but here’s the upshot: When he was trying to sell his famous chicken recipe, he was rejected more than 1,000 times before making the sale. Put yourself in his place: Would you give up after 100 rejections? Or 200? Or 500? Or 783? Or 926? I gotta think the over/under for most people on this one is in the double-digits. So: Keep on keepin’ on.

9. Embrace serenity as you cultivate courage and wisdom. Serenity is accepting the things you can’t change, having the courage to change the things you can and cultivating the wisdom to know the difference. Serenity is a good thing.

10. Remember that every hardship also brings opportunity. Those articles in number four above have a lot of good stuff in them, but here a more practical way of looking at things. Yes, the economy is sucking wind. Yes, a lot of companies are freezing their marketing department hiring or maybe even doing layoffs. But guess what? Tons of work still needs to get done. So if you’re an independent contractor or consultant, you’re in pretty good shape. If you’re an independent contractor or consultant who isn’t part of the 90 percent that’s crap, you’re in very good shape.

11. Remember where your real job security lies. It’s not in any company with whom you work … or used to work. The days of working for a large company for 40 years and retiring on your pension are gone. Your job security lies within you: It’s in your willingness to do a great job (not just a good job) no matter what it takes.

Takeaway for marketers: And for everyone else, for that matter. Relax. Take a deep breath. Stay positive. Keep focused. And may the days ahead bring you all the health, happiness, serenity, courage, wisdom and success you want and deserve.

… they can make you look foolish, or they can suggest that problems exist where they really don’t.

For example, I ordered a book from Barnes & Noble yesterday. Here’s the timeline of communications:

2:38 p.m. — Received email from PayPal confirming the order was submitted.

2:49 p.m. — Received email from B&N confirming that the order was ready to ship.

3:47 p.m. — Received email from B&N confirming that the order was received.

So wait a second: The order was received an hour after it’s ready to ship? Was a second order erroneously placed? Is there something else happening here that I need to be aware of?

Something in the B&N system is sending emails out of sequence, or perhaps in proper sequence with erroneous content. The result, though, suggests the existence of problems where they probably don’t exist.

Given the volume of email I would expect B&N to be dealing with on a daily basis, those non-existent problems are undoubtedly creating calls to customer service, which incurs very real costs to address very avoidable non-issues.

Takeaway for marketers: It’s always a good idea to audit your customer communications so that you know how your messaging is being perceived at every point in the transaction flow. This is messaging that occurs on the front lines of customer-company relations; don’t take it for granted.