They don’t exist.

David Pogue explains.

Now knock it off.

Check out this brief excerpt from one of the opening paragraphs of this month’s Wired cover story:

With two minutes and $4 to spend at a sketchy foreign website, I could report back with your credit card, phone, and Social Security numbers and your home address. Allow me five minutes more and I could be inside your accounts for, say, Amazon, Best Buy, Hulu, Microsoft, and Netflix. With yet 10 more, I could take over your AT&T, Comcast, and Verizon. Give me 20—total—and I own your PayPal. Some of those security holes are plugged now. But not all, and new ones are discovered every day.

If that’s not enough for you to go read Mat Honan’s entire article, I have no idea what you’re doing online.

New York magazine reports.

… then what hope do the rest of us have? CNN explores the question.

Brilliant idea.