“Dreams are like paper. They tear so easily.”
—Gilda Radner

Here we have a couple of panels from issue 7 of Invincible Iron Man, a series that’s written brilliantly by Matt Fraction. Here’s what’s happening: Newspaper editor Ben Urich is driving with photographer Peter Parker (you know him as Spider-Man) and Urich tells Parker about a man named Clifton Pollard, that he made $3.01 an hour digging graves in 1963. From the panels above:

Urich: “Here’s a hint. He worked at Arlington National Cemetery.”

Parker: “1963, 1963 — J.F.K.?”

Urich: “Bingo. Clifton Pollard dug the grave of John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Came into work on a Sunday to do it, too. You know how I know? Jimmy Breslin was the only guy in America that thought to talk to him. And he wrote one of my favorite pieces of journalism doing it. That’s the kind of thing I want to do here.”

And on they drive to Tony Stark’s corporate facility on Long Island. But the point is a great one: Urich remembers that Breslin column because it was a singularly unique piece of writing. At a time of national mourning, while everyone in the media was zigging, Breslin zagged. He came up with a fresh angle that no one else imagined. That angle, plus great writing, long outlived countless volumes of words that were penned around the same time.

Read Breslin’s column here.

Takeaway for marketers: Don’t follow the masses. Look for the fresh angle. While everyone else is zigging? Zag.

This video doesn’t really need the dramatic music and narration, but it sure doesn’t hurt. “Engineers are divided as to the cause of the disaster,” the narrator says, though I would  hope that’s not quite the case. Seems like there should pretty much be unanimity on how to build a bridge.

Some time ago, I added one of my email addresses to the Papa John’s mailing list. The kids liked their pizza and wings for a while, and we had fun ordering online.

In recent months, I have read plenty of articles about John Schnatter that lead me to the conclusion that I really don’t feel like supporting Papa John’s with my business anymore. Here’s a piece in Forbes that gets into some of the details, and here’s one from Politico. I’ll leave it at that.

So what’s the marketing issue at play here? Well, aside from political blowback affecting sales: In recent weeks, I’ve repeatedly tried unsubscribing from the Papa John’s mailing list. The unsubscribe process didn’t work, the emails kept coming and I posted the following to the Papa John’s Facebook page:

Your emails will NOT allow me to unsubscribe. They are not coded properly. This is a violation of federal CAN-SPAM laws. Fix it.

Okay, a little inelegant, I suppose, but to their credit they responded quickly. Just two hours later, this was  their reply:

To which I responded:

That will help me — but it doesn’t address the CAN-SPAM issue. I have been trying to unsubscribe for weeks, now. The “unsubscribe” link in the email takes me to an “email preferences” page. So far so good. I complete the form (including my reasoning: John Schnatter’s political views are blitheringly idiotic, as they are evidently a parroting of hyperpartisan demagoguery, so I will never buy PJ pizza again), click the “update” button and the page reloads; clearly doing nothing. And your emails keep coming. This is a clear violation of CAN-SPAM, which calls for “a visible and operable unsubscribe mechanism present in all emails.” Your unsubscribe mechanism is clearly not operable. Maybe Schnatter ought to worry less about 14 cents per pizza for employee health care and more about his own company running afoul of federal law, which can result in fines of hundreds of thousands of dollars. 

(Okay, what can I say? It’s Tuesday and I’m cranky. I mean, how many emails hawking three-topping pizzas for $9.99 can I delete?)

No response yet on the Facebook page, but I’ll update this post if and when the conversation continues.

NOVEMBER 11 UPDATE: No response from Papa John’s, but I did get an email imploring me to add a second large pizza for $9.99. The email unsubscribe function clearly still doesn’t work.

NOVEMBER 12 UPDATE: No response from Papa John’s, but I did get an email introducing Papa john’s Chicken Poppers. The email unsubscribe function clearly still doesn’t work.

NOVEMBER 13 UPDATE: No response from Papa John’s, but I did get an email offering me 50% off an online order. The email unsubscribe function clearly still doesn’t work.

NOVEMBER 14 UPDATE: No response from Papa John’s, but I did get an email imploring me to buy a  large 1-topping pizza for $6.99. The email unsubscribe function clearly still doesn’t work … Response from Papa John’s: “Craig, we’re sorry you are having issues unsubscribing from our email program. We’ve tested the links and found them operable. Please send us your email address via private message on Facebook so that we can look into the issue further.  Thank you!” … My reply: ” I’ll be happy to forward the email somewhere so you can see how it’s not working; I’m less concerned about my email account specifically and more concerned about the links in the email not working generally.” … Their response: “Craig, that would be great if you could also forward the email you were having issues with so that our technical team can see what you are seeing in the email. Your email address is important so that we can troubleshoot log files as it pertains to your email address. This will help identify any potential issues with the unsubscribe process for not only you but for others. You may either contact us via private message on Facebook or send your email to onlinemarketing@papajohns.com. Thank you!”

Takeaway for marketers: You might want to double-check to see that your unsubscribe link — and the functionality on the page to which it directs users — is working. Just saying.

Hope you survived the first Monday of 2013 relatively unscathed. Tragically, some copy editors didn’t. The Onion reports.