“The only reason a great many American families don’t own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.”
—Alfred E. Neuman

Here’s a brief history of the Thanksgiving parade you’ll probably watch for a while this morning. (Sorry for the pre-roll commercial; I hate those, too.)

A Thanksgiving classic … illustrated.

Okay, well, not November … September, actually, is when I begin see holiday items in the stores. Christmas creep is profoundly infuriating. But today, three days before Black Friday, I received two emails with the following subject lines:

Subject: Black Friday starts today! Reveal your exclusive Mystery eCoupon savings now!

Subject: Black Friday Starts Now – Shop Unique Gifts for Everyone

Bite me, marketers.

That Black Friday is a cancer on the American soul is bad enough, but you’re going to try and extend Black Friday into the rest of the week? Really?

Bite me twice.

Takeaway for marketers: Ask yourselves: Are you providing something of real value to customers, or are you just pissing them/us off?

Mental Floss provides an interesting history of Thanksgiving turkey pardons over the years … something to read while you consider your menu for this coming Thursday.