“Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.”
—Benny Hill

LinkedIn has this beta feature that presents members with “Jobs you may be interested in.” Yesterday, it suggested I take a look at VP Digital Media for MTV.

Pretty sweet job, right? But when you look at the job description, there’s this:

“The position reports to the EVP, Marketing, and GM, Digital Media, MTV Music Group with a dotted line into the VP, Consumer Marketing.”

An EVP and a GM and the dreaded dotted line on the corporate flow chart.

In other words: Masochists only should apply.

Kleenex lets you send someone a virtual tissue on Facebook.

Really.

I know, because this morning I received an email informing me that I can “send a virtual tissue on Facebook with Kleenex(R) brand.”

That was the subject line. Here’s the main content of that email:

Did you know that Kleenex® Brand has a vibrant Facebook page with fun promotions and applications? Our newest app,Virtual Tissue, allows you to share a little virtual softness with someone you care about, via Facebook.

Virtual Tissue is a fun way to let someone know you’re thinking about them, and even lets you know which of your friends may need a little cheering up so you can lift their spirits.

Alrighty then. And on their Facebook page it says:

Official Kleenex® Brand Page

The world’s first and America’s best-selling facial tissue is now on Facebook! Let’s start a conversation today!

Reality check time: Does anyone really want to “start a conversation” about Kleenex? Really? Maybe my household is radically different than others, but I don’t think so, at least not where paper products are concerned — I think most conversations about Kleenex boil down to: “Where’s the Kleenex?” or “Dammit, my nose is running and we’re outta Kleenex!”

I have this voice in the back of my marketing brain suggesting that this whole virtual Kleenex thing on Facebook is something to watch, if only to understand the lowest common denominator level of interaction that virtually any major brand can conceivably get online.

In other words: Is this is the Facebook marketing version of what happens in political polling, that you can find about 16 percent of the American public that believes just about anything?

I mean, seriously: It sure feels to me that if Kleenex can get a million people to send virtual tissues on Facebook, than any major brand can get a million people to do just about anything.

Once again, Marketing Sherpa is offering their annual free download of real-life marketing tales from the trenches: Marketing Wisdom 2011. And once again, yours truly has made the cut: Check out page 23 of the document (or page 19 as printed on the page footers).

… was actually two days ago, but a federal holiday on a Saturday doesn’t make for a three-day weekend, so here we are. And while pretty much everyone knows about King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, here are 10 other things he said, compiled in a snappy YouTube video of less than two minutes.