As of July 2005, there were 938,710,929 Internet users worldwide, representing 14.6 of the global population, according to Internet World Stats. English is the language of less than one-third of all users, with only about 26% of English-speaking people worldwide online, compared with more than 60% of Japanese- and Dutch-speaking people.
If the rumors are true, and AOL merges with MSN, the result will be an entity that is the Internet’s clear traffic leader, notes Forbes. The effects on online advertising can only be guessed at. Meanwhile, this site says AOL is set to announce its own Vonage-style VOIP service this week. And by the way, this article reports that MSN is acquiring the Internet phone company, Teleo.
For all the buzz surrounding eBay’s purchase of Skype and the launch of Googletalk, is it possible that the most interesting online moves of 2005 may be yet to come?
Last month, I wrote about Hewlett-Packard’s great customer service. They’re still among the best I’ve encountered … but …
The other day, I get the dreaded Blue Screen of Death. I recover. I back up my data. The BSoD returns several hours later. I can’t recover. I call HP. It’s not good. Not at all. First came the diagnosis: crashed hard drive or fried motherboard. Lovely. Well, at least it’s still under warranty. Then came the sales pitch: “Had your machine not been under warranty, this service would cost you at least $300. Would you like to extend your warranty?”
Excuse me?!
I’m this close to frantic. My primary work computer is hosed and about to be FedExed 3,000 miles away for service. Yeah, I backed up my data, but Lord knows what I might have lost anyway. Then there’s the whole p.i.a. of reconfiguring all my programs when I get it back. Lost time. Lost productivity. Lost dollars. Maximum stress. Maximum aggravation. Yeah, great time to make a sales pitch.
Memo to HP’s customer service managers: You might want to rethink this particular upsell strategy.
Sheesh.
This week, Gillette announced the launch of Fusion, a series of razors with five blades. Five. Five! Five blades!
Back in 1976, Saturday Night Live introduced the “Triple Track,” a razor with three blades, which at the time seemed impossibly ludicrous. As the memorable tag line of the fake commercial declared: “Because you’ll believe anything.” In 2004, though, The Onion anticipated this very development. (My thanks to fellow Soflow member Matt Arnold for the link.)
Kevin Glennon blogs here in anticipation of Gillette’s 13-blade “Mach 4 Meat Grinder” which, by my calculations based on the blade-expansion rate over the past few decades, should hit the market around 2085. I’ll be talking with Kevin about my great-grandchildren going into business with his: The Glennons will sell the razors, and the Peters will market the styptic spray you see in this posting’s photo.
What a world. I guess we will believe anything.
“This is where all our work is done … Collecting underpants is just phase one. Phase one: collect underpants … [silence] … Well, phase three is profit. Get it? You see, Phase one: collect underpants, phase two … [silence] … Phase three: profit … Us gnomes are geniuses at corporations.”
—the Underpants Gnomes of South Park
